Maybe Lebron and I both really miss the snow? Nahhh. I could do without the snow. BUT, the truth is, and it’s really hard to say this, but I am moving back home to Cleveland.
UPDATE: I’m no longer moving back to Cleveland. I’ve decided to stay in SoCal!
I’ve been living in LA for a year and a half (exactly that in August). I moved out here to be with my boyfriend, Tim, who has been my best friend for the past 21 years. I’ve built a life here. With friends, blogging, fitness groups, dogsitting, nannying, and so on. The weather is perfect. The culture is amazing. The opportunities are endless. The ocean, the mountains, the desert, the city. Without a doubt, I love this city and I have no regrets.
Santa Monica Beach
But the past year and a half, something big has been missing. I always knew it was off, but I attributed that to having bipolar disorder. Moving across the country was a big life event, which tends to be a trigger for an episode. I spent the first 8 months on my living room floor, terrified to leave my apartment. But I got better. We moved to West LA, and I built a life.
But it wasn’t until I went back home this past month that I found what I had been looking for. I didn’t even realize I was looking for it. Comfort. It started when I was feeling sad after my grandma cried, asking me to move back home. It wasn’t that exact moment, but later that night when I called up my two best girlfriends and asked to hang out. We picked up wine and pizza, and went to my friend Dre’s apartment on the lake. We got drunk. We cried. We laughed. We ate a lot. We reminisced about how life was when I still lived there, and how things felt like they hadn’t changed, even after 18 months. I had this feeling of comfort that I had been searching for. And it felt really good. And it terrified me, because I knew something had to change.
Dre, Kayla, & Me- New Years Eve 2012
Days went on, and I continued to think about moving back. I feared that it would mean I failed. That I moved to the big city and wasn’t good enough to make it. But a really good lifelong friend assured me that I hadn’t failed. I had tried it, and I made it work- but I was making the conscious decision to move back to my friends and my family (thank you Kristen). I grew SO MUCH this past year and a half. I grew more in this time than ever before. I learned who I am. I figured out that I’m partially an introvert. I learned how to make new friends in a brand new place. I learned how to drive in Los Angeles haha. I learned about different cultures and people and food. I learned independence. Which in itself is absolutely amazing. I finally learned how to be independent while in a relationship. I became the adult version of Lyndsay.
My biggest reason for moving back: my nephews. Toby is 7, Eli is 2, and my third nephew will be born in September. This goes without saying, but I absolutely LOVE my nephews! It’s a love I never knew could exist. One day, Toby and I were playing outside. He came up to me and said he was sad for no reason. Having depression, all I wanted to do was be there for him. I wanted to help him and make sure he had the support he needed, even if it was really nothing. I asked him if he would be happy if I moved back, and he got really happy and said yes. That pretty much solidified it. I talked with my mom about it, and she felt it was a good idea.
Toby & Eli
I love the thought of being back in Cleveland. I know the area, I can visit my grandparents any time I want, I can get a car, I can afford my apartment (LA is so expensive! haha), and my pup Emma can live with me again! I can get a job, save up money, get involved in the blogging community in Cleveland, build my holistic coaching business, and have all the support I need.
I asked my boyfriend Tim to move with me. I was really nervous to ask him, because even though he is from Ohio too, he has expressed his lack of desire to ever leave Southern California. After a really emotional conversation, he said he would move back with me! It actually brought us a bit closer, and this all feels really good. Depending on a job, I will most likely be moving in September. Tim has to finish this semester of school, so he will be moving in December or January (we’ve done long distance before, so it’s not really an issue).
With Tim at Huntington Beach in California
This decision did not come easily. A lot of tears happened. I love living in LA, but perfect weather and amazing opportunities don’t mean much if I’m not happy. They’re essentially useless if I don’t feel at home. If I don’t feel comfort. I would love to settle down in San Diego, which is our plan. For now, our plan is Cleveland. And we will see where things go from there.
And this is totally random, but it reminds me of the episode of How I Met Your Mother (SPOILER if you haven’t seen it) where Robin left for Argentina, and then came back.. and she had to tell “vacation Robin” that it was time to let go of her and to get back to her life. Also the episode where Marshall tells Lily he wants to get a full-time job so he can have steady income and actually have a reason to put on pants every day. And also the episode where Robin doesn’t want to move to Japan because she wants to be around everything comfortable. Yeah, I can relate to this show a lot, haha.
So this is the official “I’M MOVING” announcement! I’ve told a few people already, but there are too many people to tell individually. I’m really, really excited about this. SoCal, I’m going to miss you so much. Cleveland, I surprisingly cannot wait to see you again. Snow and all (but please, a milder winter than last winter would be GREAT, thanks!).
If you’re one of my SoCal friends: I love you, & I will definitely be back. Please keep in touch, as you’ve become such a big part of my life.
If you’re one of my CLE friends: I can’t wait to see you!! Let’s definitely meet up in the coming months.
If you don’t fit into either of those categories, then let’s become friends!
Much love to you all.