Maybe Lebron and I both really miss the snow? Nahhh. I could do without the snow. BUT, the truth is, and it’s really hard to say this, but I am moving back home to Cleveland.
UPDATE: I’m no longer moving back to Cleveland. I’ve decided to stay in SoCal!
Cleveland Skyline
I’ve been living in LA for a year and a half (exactly that in August). I moved out here to be with my boyfriend, Tim, who has been my best friend for the past 21 years. I’ve built a life here. With friends, blogging, fitness groups, dogsitting, nannying, and so on. The weather is perfect. The culture is amazing. The opportunities are endless. The ocean, the mountains, the desert, the city. Without a doubt, I love this city and I have no regrets.
Santa Monica Beach
But the past year and a half, something big has been missing. I always knew it was off, but I attributed that to having bipolar disorder. Moving across the country was a big life event, which tends to be a trigger for an episode. I spent the first 8 months on my living room floor, terrified to leave my apartment. But I got better. We moved to West LA, and I built a life.
But it wasn’t until I went back home this past month that I found what I had been looking for. I didn’t even realize I was looking for it. Comfort. It started when I was feeling sad after my grandma cried, asking me to move back home. It wasn’t that exact moment, but later that night when I called up my two best girlfriends and asked to hang out. We picked up wine and pizza, and went to my friend Dre’s apartment on the lake. We got drunk. We cried. We laughed. We ate a lot. We reminisced about how life was when I still lived there, and how things felt like they hadn’t changed, even after 18 months. I had this feeling of comfort that I had been searching for. And it felt really good. And it terrified me, because I knew something had to change.
Dre, Kayla, & Me- New Years Eve 2012
Days went on, and I continued to think about moving back. I feared that it would mean I failed. That I moved to the big city and wasn’t good enough to make it. But a really good lifelong friend assured me that I hadn’t failed. I had tried it, and I made it work- but I was making the conscious decision to move back to my friends and my family (thank you Kristen). I grew SO MUCH this past year and a half. I grew more in this time than ever before. I learned who I am. I figured out that I’m partially an introvert. I learned how to make new friends in a brand new place. I learned how to drive in Los Angeles haha. I learned about different cultures and people and food. I learned independence. Which in itself is absolutely amazing. I finally learned how to be independent while in a relationship. I became the adult version of Lyndsay.
My biggest reason for moving back: my nephews. Toby is 7, Eli is 2, and my third nephew will be born in September. This goes without saying, but I absolutely LOVE my nephews! It’s a love I never knew could exist. One day, Toby and I were playing outside. He came up to me and said he was sad for no reason. Having depression, all I wanted to do was be there for him. I wanted to help him and make sure he had the support he needed, even if it was really nothing. I asked him if he would be happy if I moved back, and he got really happy and said yes. That pretty much solidified it. I talked with my mom about it, and she felt it was a good idea.
Toby & Eli
I love the thought of being back in Cleveland. I know the area, I can visit my grandparents any time I want, I can get a car, I can afford my apartment (LA is so expensive! haha), and my pup Emma can live with me again! I can get a job, save up money, get involved in the blogging community in Cleveland, build my holistic coaching business, and have all the support I need.
I asked my boyfriend Tim to move with me. I was really nervous to ask him, because even though he is from Ohio too, he has expressed his lack of desire to ever leave Southern California. After a really emotional conversation, he said he would move back with me! It actually brought us a bit closer, and this all feels really good. Depending on a job, I will most likely be moving in September. Tim has to finish this semester of school, so he will be moving in December or January (we’ve done long distance before, so it’s not really an issue).
With Tim at Huntington Beach in California
This decision did not come easily. A lot of tears happened. I love living in LA, but perfect weather and amazing opportunities don’t mean much if I’m not happy. They’re essentially useless if I don’t feel at home. If I don’t feel comfort. I would love to settle down in San Diego, which is our plan. For now, our plan is Cleveland. And we will see where things go from there.
And this is totally random, but it reminds me of the episode of How I Met Your Mother (SPOILER if you haven’t seen it) where Robin left for Argentina, and then came back.. and she had to tell “vacation Robin” that it was time to let go of her and to get back to her life. Also the episode where Marshall tells Lily he wants to get a full-time job so he can have steady income and actually have a reason to put on pants every day. And also the episode where Robin doesn’t want to move to Japan because she wants to be around everything comfortable. Yeah, I can relate to this show a lot, haha.
So this is the official “I’M MOVING” announcement! I’ve told a few people already, but there are too many people to tell individually. I’m really, really excited about this. SoCal, I’m going to miss you so much. Cleveland, I surprisingly cannot wait to see you again. Snow and all (but please, a milder winter than last winter would be GREAT, thanks!).
If you’re one of my SoCal friends: I love you, & I will definitely be back. Please keep in touch, as you’ve become such a big part of my life.
If you’re one of my CLE friends: I can’t wait to see you!! Let’s definitely meet up in the coming months.
If you don’t fit into either of those categories, then let’s become friends!
Much love to you all.
lyndsinreallife
I can only imagine how hard of a decision this was to make, but I am excited that you’ll be in the area again!! The Cleveland blogging community is fantastic and most of all, if this is where your heart is then it’s a good decision 🙂 xoxo <3
Jessica (www.healthyishappyblog.com) recently posted…Post-vacation aftermath & nights out with friends
Thank you Jess!! I am so happy you’ll be there and we can blog together and live close to each other haha. I’m really sad now that I’ve said out loud that I’m moving, but it’s definitely where my heart is. And I can’t wait for autumn 😉 haha. Thanks again girl, for everything! Xoxo <3
You had to courage to try something new and the strength to know when it was time time move on. Not a lot of people can say that. Home really is where the heart is. I wish nothing but the the best for you and Tim and your new version of the old life.
Mary recently posted…EveryMove App Review
Thank you Mary! I love that- new version of our old life. That’s perfect. I have experienced so much here, but am very very excited to get back to CLE. And hey, I’ll be closer to you!!
thebalancedbrunette recently posted…I’m Taking After Lebron & Moving Back to Cleveland
Sounds like a great decision for you. And Tim sounds like a real keeper-hold onto that guy!
Deborah @ Confessions of a Mother Runner recently posted…Hiking Aspen style
Thanks Deborah! He definitely is a keeper 🙂 Everything with us has always been simple, and we make each other laugh every day! It means a lot that he will move back to be with me.
thebalancedbrunette recently posted…I’m Taking After Lebron & Moving Back to Cleveland
I can’t even imagine how difficult the decision must’ve been for you but I’m glad you made a decision that works for you and you definitely haven’t failed. You’re moving back because you want to, not because you need to. Good luck in Cleveland! SoCal is gonna miss you!
Gloria recently posted…This Weekend in Photos: July 25-27
Thank you so much Gloria! I’m so happy to have “met” you!! I imagine I will end up in San Diego, but I’m really excited to move back to Cleveland for now. I’ll definitely miss SoCal!!
thebalancedbrunette recently posted…I’m Taking After Lebron & Moving Back to Cleveland
I wish we would not have had to move from SoCal! I’d go back tomorrow if given the chance. That said, home to me is with my family no matter where it is.
Now, you are way too close for us not to plan a meet up!! Once you’re moved and settled we’ll chat 🙂
jill conyers recently posted…Post-Run Recovery Routine
If my family were here, it would be a completely different story. I absolutely LOVE SoCal, it’s amazing. It’s just incredibly lonely without my family (and my friends back East).
But yes, we will be closer! I want to say it’s about 5-6 hours to Cinci from Cleveland. But I am definitely willing to make that drive!! I’ll get in touch for sure 🙂
thebalancedbrunette recently posted…I’m Taking After Lebron & Moving Back to Cleveland
Sounds like you put a lot into the decision & t will be good for you! CA is beautiful & all but crazy too!
GOOD LUCK!!!!!!
Jody – Fit at 56 recently posted…Gratitude Monday, Tolerance and Sharing Instagram Love
Thank you so much Jody!! I really appreciate that <3
thebalancedbrunette recently posted…I’m Taking After Lebron & Moving Back to Cleveland
It’s a big decision, but I think you know you made the right choice! I can tell by your writing that you’re relieved and happy. I don’t know if I would have the guts to move away from my family and friends- I’m totally in awe of people who can do that! I’m so attached to my life here in Florida and LOVE it that I never want to leave. P.S. How I Met Your Mother was an AWESOME show. Barney is my favorite 🙂
Thank you Montana! I really do feel happy and relieved now. I feel like I’ve finally let myself admit that it’s okay for me to want to leave! I felt like there was something wrong with me for wanting to leave Southern California. But it’s okay to want to be with my friends and family! I’m from a pretty crappy town, so everyone always wants to leave. But I’m excited, and I’ll just move a few cities East haha.
and YES!! I am loving HIMYM!! Hahaha Barney is awesome!
thebalancedbrunette recently posted…I’m Taking After Lebron & Moving Back to Cleveland
Awww, girl! We haven’t met up yet, so lets do so soon! I hope you’ll be the happiest you’ve ever been back there 🙂 xoxo
Mary recently posted…A Magical Day with Tori Amos at The Greek Theatre.
Thank you so much Mary! I’ll definitely text you when I head to Pasadena next. It’ll be in the next month! xoxo
thebalancedbrunette recently posted…I’m Taking After Lebron & Moving Back to Cleveland
Girl, we have to get lunch before you move!!!!!
I am thrilled Tim is moving back with you..
And I had to stop reading at the HIMYM reference, because I am currently watching all the seasons in order on Netflix and I don’t want ANY HINTS!!!
GiGi Eats recently posted…Sharing The SamePlate
Haha I am currently watching them all on Netflix too!! I’m on season 5 I think. This show is awesome haha. But yes, let’s get lunch first!! I won’t be moving until September. You’ll be at BlogFest right?! Aren’t you a speaker? haha
Well, I’m glad it looks like we’ll get to hang out tomorrow in Santa Monica before you leave!
Running Hutch recently posted…The Facts of Running and Groin Pains
Haha yes I cannot wait!! It’s going to be an awesome event 🙂 I’m excited to meet you! Will you be at BlogFest/IDEA World?
What a great post! I would love to learn more about your experiences in California! I’m pretty new to the Cleveland blogging community, but I can’t wait to read more about your experiences and share some of my own!
Thank you! Let’s connect on FB so we can chat more!! Facebook.com/lyndsaymarvin. I was supposed to be moving aug 30 but my job fell through, so I probably won’t be moving until closer to December. But I cannot wait to move back and get involved with the CLE bloggers!!