I am in Ohio for the holidays for the next two weeks (I grew up in Cleveland), and I need to go through all my stuff I left at my parents before moving to LA. My old room is almost like a shrine- everything is where it was when I left! I was going through everything earlier today, and found a bunch of old journals/diaries. I have been keeping a journal since the 3rd grade.

This particular one I found is from 2009-2011. These were the years when my nutrition was AWFUL. I lived with my big brother, and all we consumed was pizza and Mountain Dew. My entire diet consisted of frozen and fast foods. Everything was refined, processed, FAKE. Reading these journal entries, it’s interesting to read how unhappy I was. Granted, having bipolar disorder means I have highs and lows at any given time. But looking back at these years, I was completely unstable. I was more depressed than anything, but my thoughts were all over the place. I almost don’t recognize the writings, as if it wasn’t ME who wrote these entries.

So the years when my nutrition was horrible, my moods were unstable. I find that so interesting. To be fair, I have had some times when my nutrition was great, and my moods were not (for example, this past summer). Sometimes I cycle into an episode for other reasons, like moving across the country (drastic life changes are a major trigger). But even then, my journal entries looked nothing like the ones from 2009-2011. I can’t help but wonder how much my poor nutrition played a role in my mental health.

Has this been something you have noticed, too? I would love to hear your thoughts!